Trauma: Fear of setting boundaries
Core wound: I will be rejected
Last night, I set a boundary, without the fear of rejection. I can not remember ever doing that. Ever.
I’ve been decluttering my home, getting rid of physical weight, so I can declutter my heart, decluttering it of emotional baggage. A friend wanted to buy a few of these items I was getting rid of, and we’d agreed that rather than shipping (to save them paying for it), I’d bring them over to the USA in a while, I was going there anyway.
I did not get rejected, I did not burst out in flames, I did cry, however. But these were good tears; tears of release, freeing myself from the fear of rejection if I’d set any boundaries I needed them to respect; to respect me.
It felt like an emotional burden, to hold on to what I’d already parted with. It made me feel unrest, a kind of ‘limbo’ I instinctively felt was not good for me anymore. What I asked them was: “I feel that keeping these items here for you for a few more weeks is not good for me. I need to get rid of these before. Is it okay if I ship them to you after all?” to which they said “Yes, of course, no problem!”
What seems like a small ask for many others felt like a terribly scary thing for me to ask. I remember setting two boundaries in my past, but both were riddled with that fear of rejection. The anguish of the border being crossed was even larger, though; so I did.
Boundaries are to protect my self, my heart, my soul. It never felt safe to do so, because I’d get trampled no matter what; boundaries I set in the past were ignored like they never even existed; so what use was going through the emotional anguish of setting them in the first place if they weren’t going to be adhered to?!?!?
I can and will and uphold boundaries now. Because I respect myself.
Because I accept myself.
Because I love myself.
Because I embrace myself.
Because I make and keep myself strong.
